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Tuesday, 9 March 2010

My dream

I had the strangest most vivid dream I have had in a long time, and yet in no time at all I will probably forget it which is why I feel like I need to write it down.
Some dreams are very vivid and yet as soon as you wake up you already the main details about them. You want to remember and you really try hard, and yet you cannot.
Anyway, here is the gist of my dream as I remember it.

I was in a shopping centre, one I don't really recognise though. I was
going to HMV to look at some Manga comics even though in real life HMV don't
sell Manga comics.
I entered and started to walk towards one aisle in particular when a
young kid shoulder barged me. He muttered some apology but laced with
severe attitude and he shot me a look.
So I stood in the aisle looking through the magazines but then I put
them down and turned around, at which point that same young Asian guy walked
into me. This time he wasn't so apologetic and although I can't remember what
exactly he said, I know it wasn't very complimentary.
This next part is the strangest and possibly the most frightening,
because without much more provocation I lashed out at him. He fell back onto
a rack/shelf and I hit him a few more times. Then his friend who wasn't
that much older than him came over and grabbed me by the collar but he didn't
have enough time as I then thrust my forehead into his face, headbutting him,
however not only did headbutting him not hurt, I didn't feel it.
They both lay there, quite still. In pain and in shock by the
looks of it. Everyone had turned and was looking at me. I considered running
away but I didn't. I remained rooted to the spot.

The scene then changed to what I imagine was a police station,
however it was the sort of police station you saw from a 1970's American cop
show. The policewoman who interviewed me seemed quite sympathetic however she
nodded and took the statement anyway. I was very worried, I knew I was deep
in the shit.
I left the station still protesting my innocence.

Next thing I knew I was at some sort of institution. It was a strange
mix between a psychiatric hospital, a rehab, and facility for people who have
anger issues, and so on. I was shown around by a person who kept changing. At
first it was a big hairy tattooed biker in leathers, and then towards the end it
was someone who I knew.

I was shown around and there were all sorts of people there like
Carrot Top (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrot_Top)
and so on. Eventually we stopped in this big ward where nothing was going on,
people were just milling about. Some wearing normal clothing's, others wearing
those big hospital gowns.
My guide told me I was a softy because I hurt people but didn't mean
it, however he and his friends were hard because they hurt people and meant it.
It was about that time that I woke up.

So quite a strange dream. It certainly did spark a few thoughts, and some parts even surprised me. I think the part that surprises me the most is the way I lashed out at those two young Asian guys. They were young but I didn't want to call them kids in case it made me sound like an even bigger asshole.
But they can't have been older than about seventeen or eighteen years old, I'm guessing sixteen or seventeen.

The point is that it is very unlike me to lash out like that. I am quite calm and reserved now and I am able to have patience. Admittedly I wasn't that patient when I left school some 7 years ago or so, I had a bit of a temper. But now I am calmer, much calmer.

Maybe the dream brought out and represented a different side of me, the side that no-one ever see's, not even me.
Well that's all for now. I might have some more to say on it later, but at least it's said now, it's written down so I won't forget.

What a bizarre dream.

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